Always
by Yugure
Summary: Always... always... I just can't live without you... ZA and LZ.


**Title: **Always

**Author:** Yugure

**Rated:** PG13-R

**Disclaimer:** Slayers et al not mine.

**Warning:** Character misrepresentation! Blood! Irreversible psychological damage! Angst! Character death!

**Comments:** I blame "Always" by Saliva. Z/A and L/Z.

Zelgadis descended the inn staircase slowly, as though each foot was weighted down with bricks. He approached the table where his friends sat and quietly pulled up his own chair. Instead of picking up the cup of coffee Amelia had so generously ordered for him, he rested his forearms on his thighs, head drooping till his forehead nearly touched his knees. The ravenous pillage of various breakfast foods dissipated. Three pairs of confused eyes turned to stare at Zelgadis.

"What's wrong, Zel?" Lina asked, fork halfway to her mouth. A helping of eggs dangled precariously from the prongs.

"Mr. Zelgadis, you look terrible!" Amelia blurted. "What happened?"

Zelgadis raised his head only enough to peer out from beneath a fall of silky black hair. His eyes were dark and haunted, contrasting intensely with his pallor.

"This," he said, throwing a crumpled piece of paper onto the table. A quick glance at his hands revealed how they trembled slightly. Zelgadis quickly went back to staring at his feet.

Lina took the incentive to grab the paper. She opened it, and Amelia and Gourry crowded around her to read it.

_I'm watching you, Zelgadis._

_I can't live without you._

_I need you._

_One day soon you'll be mine.  
Don't worry._

_We'll be together soon._

_Even if it means I have to kill you._

"What the hell…?" Lina exclaimed, dropping the paper as if it was a hot coal. Amelia picked it back up and reread it, her face turning ashen. "That's psychotic!"

"Do you know who it could be, Zelgadis?" Gourry asked. Zelgadis shook his head.

"Miss Lina… look at this… what is it written with?" Amelia held the paper up to Lina's face. The sorceress bent over the paper, running her fingers over the words.

"I'd have to say," Lina replied, "that it looks like blood."

"That's disgusting!" Amelia exclaimed.

"I mean, it could be red ink, but I don't think so…"

"I don't know what to do about it," Zelgadis suddenly spoke up. His friends eagerly turned to hear what he had to say. He sat up and rested his elbows on the table instead. "I don't know who it is or what they want. The letter makes no sense. And now that I'm mostly human… I don't have the power that I used to have."

"We'll protect you at all costs, Zelgadis. You know that," Lina interjected quietly. The others nodded agreement.

"I wanted power once before, too. And I was turned into a chimera for it. We found the cure, and I'm back to being weak. I can't even defend myself," Zelgadis lamented.

"Hey, you don't know that. For all we know, this stalker is just the innkeeper's daughter. She's had an eye on you for the past week," Lina replied. As if on cue, the aforementioned girl entered the room. She blushed heavily when she saw Zelgadis, and it looked as thought she was going to approach the table. However, she didn't watch where she was walking and she ran into a customer, knocking them both to the ground. The girl apologized profusely as the irate customer yelled at her. Zelgadis rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, she's a hardened criminal, Lina, a real obsessive stalker bent on my destruction," he snapped. Lina's congenial expression mutated into anger.

"She could be! Maybe if you weren't such a jerk you wouldn't be in this situation!"

"Are you implying this is my fault?!"

"No, I'm just saying-"

"Miss Lina, Mr. Zelgadis, stop it!" Amelia yelled. The bickering ceased. Amelia folded her hands around Zelgadis's shaking hands. "Don't worry about it. You have the greatest sorceress in the world to protect you. If Miss Lina can take out Dark Lords, she certainly can handle a stalker. And don't forget Gourry, the best swordsman in the world. And me… well, you know I'll always be here, right?"

"Thanks Amelia," Zelgadis said, smiling weakly at the princess. "You're right, I shouldn't worry. But I still feel helpless. I'm not a strong as I once was."

"I think you're still just as strong," Amelia replied shyly. The two grinned at each other. A faint blush colored Amelia's cheeks. Lina rolled her eyes and started eating her breakfast again.

"You two are disgusting," she barked, her mouth full of food. "Get a room already, why don't you…"

"It's not like that, Lina," Zelgadis began, but he knew it was a doomed argument. Whenever Lina got an idea in her head, she never gave it up.

The next day the group left that town. They figured that if it WAS the innkeeper's daughter, or anyone else there, they could just leave them behind. If it wasn't, it was still a good idea to keep moving.

The next town they came across was more like a city. It was much bigger and it was clearly in the stages of advancing technology. Amelia wanted to impose the rule that Zelgadis was not allowed to be anywhere without one of their group accompanying him, but Zelgadis protested. It would've made him feel even worse, as though he was a small child in the need of adult protection. Lina, in spite of her worry about Zelgadis's welfare, backed him up. She knew what it was like to have restricted freedom.

When the others decided to explore the city, Zelgadis stayed behind. Not out of fear of his life; rather, he simply wanted a day to himself. The inn had reputedly very relaxing hot springs.

Zelgadis entered his room, dressed only in a loose fitting pair of pants and a towel draped across his shoulders. He whistled a pretty tune. The trip into the hot springs was indeed very relaxing.

The former chimera stopped in his tracks and stared at the table in the center of the room. A large bouquet of red roses nestled in a red vase waited for him. Nothing seemed terribly suspicious, just rather odd and out of place. Zelgadis approached the flowers.

Plip.

Zelgadis drew back his outstretched hand and glanced at the small dot of red on the table. As he watched, another drop spilled from the flowers.

Plip.

Zelgadis reached out and touched one of the blossoms. He turned his hand over and stared in horror at the slimy red film on his fingers.

Plip. Plip.

More dollops dropped onto the table. Zelgadis clenched his fist around the roses, feeling them squish between his fingers. He raised his hand to his face.

"Blood…" he whispered, staring intently. Frantically he began searching through the flowers, his hand diving in between the long sticky stems. "A card, there's always a card…"

Grasping hold of a blood-soaked piece of paper, once white but now crimson red, Zelgadis read the words scrawled across its surface.

_Stop running._

_It's inevitable._

"This is just sick…" Lina remarked, circling the table and the mess of dead flowers and blood. Amelia clung to Zelgadis's arm, not sure what to make of the situation. Gourry picked up a rose petal, kneaded it between his fingers, and sighed.

"We should have stayed with you. That was stupid of us to just leave," he exclaimed. Nobody verbally replied, but in their minds they agreed.

"Nothing happened to me, though," Zelgadis said. "So far it's just been threatening notes, but physically I haven't been in danger."

"That doesn't mean they aren't going to do something eventually!" Amelia piped in. "This is only the beginning!"

"Okay, so no more leaving Zelgadis alone," Lina announced. "You have to be with one of us at all times. We can't wait till this psycho physically hurts you, because you would be as good as dead. It's better to take precautions now."

"So much for peace and quiet," Zelgadis said. Lina smiled ruefully. She opened her mouth to speak, but unexpectedly she tripped over a lump in the floor rug and stumbled into the table. The vase of flowers fell over and shattered. Thousands of slivers of glass exploded across the table. Lina's hand came down on top of the shards, and she winced in pain.

"Lina!"

"I'm okay, I'm okay," she ground out through her clenched teeth. She lifted her hands glanced at them, and held them out to Amelia. "Sorry, Ame, but can you help me get the glass out of my hands?"

"Of course, Miss Lina," Amelia complied, releasing Zelgadis and rushing to help her friend. Gourry and Zelgadis began cleanup.

"What happened?" Gourry asked.

"I don't know. I just got dizzy all of a sudden. I haven't been feeling very well lately. Maybe I'm coming down with the flu…?" Lina suggested. "No big deal, I've had worse cuts than this -- OUCH! Amelia!"

"Sorry, sorry!"

"Mr. Zelgadis, I have something to ask of you." Amelia motioned Zelgadis to sit next to her on the couch in front of the fire. Zelgadis complied.

"What is it, Amelia?" Zelgadis asked gently. Amelia's face flushed slightly.

"Umm… I was wondering if… when I return to Saillune… if you would accompany me there," she managed to stutter out. She kept her eyes glued to Zelgadis's shoulder, not daring to look in his eyes.

"You're returning to Saillune? When? I thought you liked traveling," Zelgadis commented, surprised.

"Well… it's just that Daddy really wants me home, and I'm beginning to miss him and the palace and my old life. I really do like traveling, but… you know… that's HOME. This isn't." Amelia sighed deeply. She felt ashamed to be burdening Zelgadis with this, since he had more pressing matters to deal with, but she couldn't think of a better time. She wasn't going to stay with the group much longer. Her heart was weary from the multitude of adventures she had gone on. "And we'd have to palace guards to protect you. I doubt this stalker will follow you all the way to Saillune and still try to hurt you."

"If they defy Lina Inverse, though, what would make them stop for the Saillune guards?" Zelgadis mused. "But…" Zelgadis paused, and Amelia risked a quick glance. He didn't look upset; more thoughtful than anything else. A smile slid into place on Zelgadis's pale face. "I don't see why not. There's nowhere else I really need to go, now that I'm cured. I'll think about it."

Amelia grinned. She reached out to touch Zelgadis's hand when Lina's face suddenly appeared in between them, her body bent over the back of the couch.

"What?! You're LEAVING me!" she screeched, looking from Amelia to Zelgadis.

"Not right now, Miss Lina! But eventually," Amelia exclaimed, attempting to placate the irate sorceress. Lina pouted, then turned to Zelgadis.

"You can't go with her, Zel! You'd be leaving me alone with Gourry, and I can't guarantee his or my safety! That's just cruel…"

"Calm down, Lina. I said I'd think about, it's not a definite thing yet."

Lina climbed onto the couch in between her two friends. She continued to pout, but soon lost interest when Gourry appeared with a bowl of popcorn.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out what sort of chaos ensued after that.

That night, Zelgadis tossed and turned in bed. He felt like he would never get to sleep. Thoughts of murderers and stalkers continued to run through his mind, reminding him of his present dangerous situation. Eventually sleep tugged at his eyelids. Zelgadis thankfully let his subconscious claim him. He snuggled deeper into his blankets as a frigid wind blew into the room. Why had he left the window open? It was terribly cold outside, it was stupid to…

… Wait…

… He hadn't left the window open…

Dragging his eyelids open and attempting to rouse himself from that half-awake, half-sleeping world, Zelgadis barely registered the soft _shiing_ of a weapon being drawn.

Zelgadis moved his head a fraction of an inch, intending to reach for his sword, but in doing so also saving his life. A dagger zinged past his ear and pierced the pillow. Zelgadis only caught a glimpse of glowing crimson eyes before his attack bounded across the room and exited by way of the open window.

"Shit…" he breathed, not wanting to move. With trepidation he sat up and looked at the other bed in the room. Gourry was dead asleep. Not that he should have awoken: Whoever had entered the room did so with amazing stealth and had barely made a sound. A demon, perhaps? That would explain the eyes…

Silently Zelgadis cast a Lighting spell to inspect the weapon impaling his pillow. No blood, thank goodness, but there was another note, skewered through the middle with the dagger's blade.

_You upset me, Zelgadis._

_I don't know what to do with you._

_I need you so much but you make me angry._

_Stop it._

_STOP IT!_

_I want you so badly…_

After the latest incident, the group decided to head up into the mountains. They rented a cottage for the week. Lina pawned the dagger away for the money to pay for it. If the stalker was using crowds of people as cover, moving into a secluded place like the mountain cabin would be severely limit the number of people with access to them.

"Gourry, go get some wood! It's freezing in here!" Lina commanded.

"But Lina, can't you just use a fireball?" Gourry whined, looking out the window where the snow was beginning to fall. "It's freezing out there, too…"

"Well DUH, Gourry, I need the wood to set on fire! Now go! The sooner you leave, the sooner you get it over with." She raised her hands threateningly until Gourry conceded. He grumbled something under his breath, but Lina was too busy bouncing around the cabin to notice.

Several hours later, after a roaring fire was built, the group had settled down for the evening. Amelia and Gourry were already in bed, sleeping having claimed them. Lina and Zelgadis remained awake.

"So… you're really going to leave me," Lina suddenly spoke. She glanced briefly at Zelgadis, then focused her eyes on the fire.

"I have nowhere else to go, Lina. I'm human again. I don't need to traverse the world, I don't need to be a nomad anymore," Zelgadis explained.

"Maybe you don't NEED to be, but I know you, Zelgadis. I know how you love the adventure and the thrill. Don't let Amelia drag you away from what you love."

"She's not. It's time for something different. Don't you ever want to be home again? Don't you ever want to belong to somewhere? To someone?" Zelgadis knew he had hit a sore point when Lina flinched. She didn't reply. She only stood up and walked in front of the fire. She rested her hands on the mantle. From behind she appeared to be an apparition, a fire faerie, wreathed in a crimson glow.

"Yes," she replied, her voice low and thick. "I do." She straightened and appeared to fumble something in her hands. "I just…"

Zelgadis, terribly confused by the change in Lina's demeanor, watched as the sorceress turned around. Her face was the most tragic thing Zelgadis had ever seen, as though her entire world had dissolved into an unending, hellish nightmare.

"I just don't know what to do…"

Zelgadis's eyes drew to Lina's waist. Something wasn't right…

"You make me so angry sometimes…"

"Lina…"

"… I can't live like this…"

"… Lina, where's your dagger?"

Amelia yawned and fumbled towards the staircase. She couldn't ignore her thirst; it had woken her up and there was no way her body would let her get back to sleep without a sip or three of water. She barely managed to make it down to the ground floor and into the kitchen.

A soft half-laugh, half-sob reached Amelia's ear. Still half asleep, she peered into the living room. She could only make out the back of Lina's head above the cushions on the couch.

" Miss Lina?" she called out blearily. "Are you still awake? It's late, go to bed…" Yawning again, she skirted the furniture to face her friend.

Amelia halted in her tracks, so fast she still swayed on her feet. Consciousness flooded her mind and forced her eyes open wide.

Lina sat cross-legged on the couch, her head bowed and shoulders shaking. Tears and blood streaked her face. She looked like a horrific savage. In her crossed arms lay Zelgadis's head, also covered with blood and tears. Zelgadis's body…

Zelgadis's body was on the floor, crumpled in an ungraceful heap at Lina's feet.

"Wha…" Amelia couldn't catch her breath. Lina raised her head.

"He was going to leave me…" she said softly. A sob escaped her throat, ending in a bone-tingling laugh. "He made me so angry… I couldn't let him go…" Amelia's eyes narrowed in on Lina's hands. Piano wire coiled around the slender blood-soaked fingers, nestled in open wounds where the friction and pressure had worn away the skin.

"I…" Bile rose in Amelia's throat. She turned away and emptied her stomach onto the carpet. Lina began rocking slowly back and forth. She smoothed back the hair from Zelgadis's lifeless face.

"You're mine now, Zelgadis. You'll always be mine…"


End file.
